Chapter 49

Eliza's POV:

I waited a beat while Max stared down at me in confusion.

"What?"

I posed the question again hoping for the best possible outcome. "Do you want to get married?"

For a second his grip on my waist tightened before he let go completely and took a small step away from me. It was barely enough to put a gap between our bodies but to me it was the biggest step he could have taken. Either way, it was a movement meant to put distance betwen us.

"Where is this coming from?" he asked staring down at me. The first feelings of panic crept up my spine. Why wasn't he sweeping me into his arms and telling me that it's his job to propose?

The valet interupted us by announcing that our car was ready and Max led me over to the passenger side. I beat him to opening the door and let myself in, not quite sure how to handle the conversation that we were surely about to have.

Max pulled away from the curb and I could feel his eyes watching me as I stared out the window watching the city pass by us. I was torn between feeling hurt and angry and wasn't sure that I could have this kind of conversation with him in an enclosed space without feeling clausterphobic.

"Baby, we need to talk" he said being the first one to break the awkward silence between us.

I shrugged still keeping my eyes locked on the scenery afraid that if I looked at him, I would cry. Damn hormones.

"Can this wait until we get home?" I asked finally saying something. He nodded and looked at me cautiously before using a free hand to play with the radio. At least music would be filling the silence between us right now.

As soon as we were home, I climbed out of the car and walked ahead of Max into the house to get a glass of water and begin taking all of the vitamins I was on for the baby. Max followed close behind me and I felt his eyes on my back watching me ignore him.

"Eliza, we have to talk." The sternness in his voice made me turn around. I wasn't used to hearing him sound so serious. It felt like I was in trouble for something which irked me on principle. What right did he have to be irritated and stern with me just for asking a question? A logical question at that.

I turned suddenly feeling furious with him. "This isn't a discussion Max. This is a yes or no question that you've been avoiding for awhile now."

"What are you talking about? This is the first time that you've even brought it up!"

"It's a yes or no question" I repeated ignoring his attempt to divert the conversation.

"It's not a yes or no question" he argued. "It's not that easy Eliza and you know it. People don't just decide things like this." It amazed me that he still couldn't say the word "marriage" and that he was using my whole name and not "Lizzy" or "baby." He never called me "Eliza."

"What are you talking about? Of course they decide things like this! It's called bein in love, Max and wanting to commit yourself to another person in a permanent and symbolic way!"

"Don't say that." He said looking at me coldly. "Don't act like I'm not committed to you. I've been committed to you from the moment I laid eyes on you."

I refused to find that statement sweet even though it was one of the most romantic things he had ever said to me. "Then why won't you answer the question?"

 Both of us were yelling now and I was fighting back tears over how hurt I felt. I couldn't help that I wanted marriage and rings and family portraits. It was what I had always envisioned for myself if I ever got married and now that I had someone I actually wanted to marry, he didn't see what I saw.

Max stayed quiet, eyes locked on mine in concentration. I was staring him down willing him to answer my question and though he matched my gaze, he made no move to give a response. That silence, the fact that he said nothing, was the only answer I needed.

I turned and left the kitchen to go upstairs. "Where are you going?" I heard Max call out while I made my way up to our bedroom.

I didn't bother to respond as I pulled out a suitcase from the closet and shut the door behind me wishing that we had put a lock on the handle. Still, even a closed door between us made me feel better as I pulled out everything that I thought I would need for a few days.

"What the hell are you doing?" Max asked appearing in the doorway and looking furious with me. Well screw him. "Put that away. You're not leaving."

I laughed bitterly at his lame attempt to prevent me from doing anything. Which was hardly an attempt at all. To get me to stay with him in this house tonight, he was going to have to physically tie me down to a piece of furniture.

"I can't be around you right now" I told him moving into the bathroom to grab my toothbrush and toiletries.

"Where are you going?" he repeated blocking me from moving past him. Just the closeness of our bodies in the doorway was enough to make my body ache all over. I didn't respond and he let me pass with a sigh.

Maybe he realized that I wasn't going to tell him. Either way, I waited until I was in the car and pulling out of the garage to cry. The bastard didn't need to know how much he had actually devastated me.


Max's POV:

I felt like I had been ambushed. Physically and mentally ambushed by the one question I hadn't expected her to ask me, and now she was gone meaning I had completely fucked it up.

I picked up my cell phone to call hers and at least find out where she was going, but heard her ringtone going off cheerfully downstairs where she hadn't bothered to take it with her. Great.

How the hell was I supposed to make sure that she was okay? Even if she hated me and didn't want to speak to me again, I deserved to know that she and our baby were okay.

I felt pure panic errupt in my chest at the idea of her out on the road somewhere without a phone if she needed to call for help. It was just idiotic and stupid for her to leave the house when we obviously had to talk about this. Then again, she hadn't given me much of a chance because as soon as I tried to think of the right thing to say to her, she interpreted that silence as the worst possible outcome and then packed a suitcase and left.

It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to her about marriage, I just hadn't been expecting the topic to come up. Weren't we already fine the way we were? Marriage wasn' t always the right answer for people and Lizzy and I had proven that two people can be happy and start to create a family without rings on our fingers.

Still she had been the one to leave. Maybe it was best that she just did what she always does and left. It had been a common pattern in our relationship and her lack of faith in me just proved that she still didn't trust me like she should at this point.

Fuck. She was the one that brought up the marriage issue but how could we even get married if she's going to run off at the first sign of conflict? That wasn't how marriage and partnership worked. Eventually we would have to talk about this and decide what it meant for us and the baby. But until then,  I wasn't going to chase after her this time.

Instead, I was going home.